


I woke up wanting to kiss you

by WhoAndHow



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Dom Tissaia de Vries, F/F, Hate to Love, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:27:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23219227
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhoAndHow/pseuds/WhoAndHow
Summary: A modern fic where a writer named Yennefer falls in love with her boss, Tissaia deVries.It was almost 3am when she woke up hardly breathing. She just had a dream that she couldn't believe she had done if it wasn't for the pulse and fire she felt between her legs."You have to be kidding me." She thought to herself. Yet, she did dream about having rough sex with her boss, the owner of "The Witcher", a magazine that talked about feminism, astrology and tarot reading amongst other related topics.Yennefer knew it wouldn't be the last time she'd think about Tissaia deVries that way.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Comments: 59
Kudos: 153





	1. 28

Yennefer grew up in a religious family. Always focused on how she had to act in order for them not to get angry at her. Since she was a child she always hated to be told what to do, what to think and even what to choose. Yet, the survival skills she had developed helped her get through this tough part of her life. One day they told her who to love and explained how disgusting homosexual people were. It then had become usual for her to hear homophobic comments. She remembers very well the day she heard her father say something that was the drop of water that made the vase overflow. Her chaos had showed up. When she came out to them she had become a monster to their eyes.

They had rejected her because she was a lesbian.

They had kicked her out of their house.

She stayed in the city without speaking to her relatives ever since it happened. Tried her very best to build herself a life. Her life. The one she wanted to live for and woke up to with a smile on her face.  
No one ever saw Yennefer laugh properly. Her attitudes were cold and closed. "I want to be good. Good at something." That is what she repeated to herself so she wouldn't end her life. A purpose. At that time, she needed one.  
Yennefer used to cry, but not about losing her family. The woman was crying as she was letting all the pain and anger come out as she finally started enjoying her life. Enjoying the freedom of going out and speaking for herself.

Deep down, Yennefer always knew how good she was at writing. Even if no one ever told her. Sometimes she caught her brain drifting away thinking of a non-existent girlfriend who would be telling her friends how good she was at doing her job and how much she loved her. Quick to quit these thoughts. She didn't need anyone anyway.  
She started this famous training from a well graded school in order to officially become a writer. At first she hated the fact that she had to sit on a chair in front of boring teachers all day. All week. The young black haired woman was a lonely person and learned her skills by herself. She always did everything alone and surely did not need any advice coming from moralistic adults.

Regardless of that, she had made one friend. Triss. She was the only one smart and mature enough for Yennefer to talk to. They had started hanging out and had begun talking about their lives. Giving each other advice. The duo was talking all night longs and spending way too many time together -according to their teacher, they had a bad influence on each other. Of course, they couldn't care less about what others might think.  
They found friendship in one another, ignoring whatever pitiful comments they received. It's important to have a strong friendship and Yennefer was glad destiny had put Triss on her road. They were studying, but above all, they were going out to karaoke places, gay bars or were just drinking on the beach while making jokes about their other classmates. They became inseparable.  
Yennefer ended up liking some classes and teachers. And, of course, graduated easily.

Triss got a job writing horoscopes for The Witcher magazine right after graduating. Since she knew Triss by heart, Yennefer was happy that she could do both her dream job and fulfill her passion. She envied her a bit but wouldn't allow herself to acknowledge it.  
Yennefer wasn't passionate about anything except her huge and growing hate towards men and more specifically patriarchy. Never missing an occasion to defend all women. Standing up before this patriarchal society that they were living in.

A few month later, she chose to leave the city and visit all the places her country could offer her. Not really knowing where to go or what to do. Zoning out as she walked on the hills of the small city near the one where she came from. She thought about a lot of things, did some yoga -alone, like always- and trained her breathing techniques. Her kindness growing slowly over her coldness.  
It was on her first stop in a small hotel that she began writing a novel, by herself, without any help.

When Yennefer came back from her travels with 400 pages of something she wrote, she knew it was time for her to move on from her dark past. She needed that time away from the city and was happy with the choice she had made. The journey brought her more than she could have imagined. Her mind was finally at peace and she was feeling fearless and strong. It was a wise move to get away because her book soon became a success all over the country.

***

After promoting her book for a year and being under the spots of fame she decided to try something new. To start over and leave the past behind her once and for all. The past left her when she wrote that story and she no longer needed it.

It was almost the end of the winter when Yennefer called Triss. The woman was relieved when she understood that their bond didn't vanish over time. It has been six months since they had hanged out together but it didn't really matter for her friend who was always enthusiastic about meeting and hugging her. Yennefer -kind of- hated that but for Triss ? She'd accept it. On every occasion Triss would jump and scream her name making her feel like the most enjoyable person on the planet.  
This time, it was even worse. Triss had heard her best friend asking her to speak to her boss so they could work together. The woman couldn't hide her excitement and made a pinky promise while looking directly into the dark purple eyes of Yennefer.

"You know, I really am just here to make you smile. Leave this one task to the expert I am. It's going to be an epic ride ! I can't wait for us to work together."  
A way too honest Yennefer thanked her best friend for being that kind, trying to hold back tears from running down her cheeks.  
Triss was her family and she was finally home again.

It was thursday when she had the weirdest and quickest job interview she's ever had. Thanks to her friend that gave her CV directly to the owner of The Witcher.

Yennefer was in front of a tall building decorated by huge black letters in capitals. "TW, for the Witcher" thought to herself the obvious and a bit stressed woman. Acutely aware of her chance. She stepped inside, answered one guy saying that she had an interview with the owner of the magazine and took the elevator up.  
Soon she knocked on the door of the office 28 without second guessing herself, acting like a robot answering some commands Triss told her to do. The door slammed open within a few seconds after Yennefer heard heels on the floor.

"Mrs Vengerberg, I was waiting for you. I am Tissaia deVries. Please, take a sit." The woman was bossy and cold yet calm and polite. Strangely, Yennefer was feeling at ease in the room, alone with a middle age woman that she did not find attractive at all. Because that was clearly not the first thing her useless lesbian brain could think of, she had a job interview to do. That was why she was here and not anything else.

She noticed the woman was wearing a suit of the deepest green Yennefer had ever seen. A white shirt tied up all the way to her neck was underneath her blazer jacket and allowed the young woman to guess the color of her bra. Her braincells went somewhere else and it was hard to think straight at that moment. She miraculously pushed away her thoughts and sat down on the chair that the woman pointed to. As soon as she obeyed, Tissaia went on the other side of her desk and started talking again, giving no space or time for Yennefer to speak.

"Triss told me you finally want to write for the magazine. What made you change your mind ?"

Right. Yennefer totally forgot that, after graduation, Triss and herself received a job proposition from the lady that was standing in front of her. She kind of hated herself for forgetting that very important information. Uncontrollably, her cheeks started blushing a little. It has been a long time since that last happened. Thankfully, Tissaia wasn't looking at her. She was occupied with watching the city through the windows, waiting for an answer from the purple eyed woman sitting in her office.

"Nice to finally meet you Mrs deVries. I guess I just wanted to start something new and The Witcher came to my mind naturally." The answer was honest but she didn't know how Tissaia would react. She did not know the woman and specifically asked Triss not to brief her before their meeting. Right now she might have been regretting this decision a little.

Too focused on what was happening she started overthinking the situation. It has been a long time since the brain of the woman had overthinked something. Therefore, it made her old habits come back. Anxiety and self consciousness.  
Yennefer wondered why she was here and it hit her mind that maybe it wasn't for the job she asked for. Maybe Tissaia was just curious and had no intention of offering her a job. Or maybe she wanted to give a lesson to the younger woman by any means, including putting an end to her fresh and debuting career.  
Tissaia turned around, showing no emotion. Just on time to take Yennefer out of her negativity spiral of thoughts. She sat down on her chair graciously. Her gaze drowning in purple eyes, searching for any weaknesses they might show.

"Do you just guess things randomly or do you really want this job ? Do not waste my time, Mrs Vengerberg."  
A serious silence filled up the room. The two women seemed curious yet their mind were closed. Showing no emotions. A few seconds passed before words were spoken again.  
"I won't waste anything Mrs deVries. I really want to work with- for you." Yennefer answered back boldly. She had felt that the woman sitting in front her and looking at her in the eyes wanted to hear something strong and powerful. Tissaia froze -kind of?- and, after a moment of hesitation, lowered herself back into her chair. Not so surprisingly, she waited for what felt like ages before she said something back. They could get used to hearing nothing right after their respective sentences.

Then, she heard her voice. Warm and gracious.

"You'll start next monday. Don't disappoint me and don't test my patience." Yennefer thanked her, saying no more. Nothing needed to be added.  
She felt the powerful gaze of Tissaia deVries on her back as she left the classy office and headed back to her house as quick as possible.


	2. What makes her angry ?

The encounter was special.

Yennefer knew it had been but she couldn't find a meaningful reason behind that statement. At least not tonight. Her brain couldn't even put two and two together. Still in a daze from what had happened earlier that day. Keys found their way to the door lock by themselves, the strong lady probably didn't know how she ended up at her house without any trouble nor memories from her way back. As soon as she stepped forward and threw away her jacket on the floor, the sun began to go down behind the small mountain that constituted her view from her living room.  
She was standing in the middle of her apartment smiling happily at the thought of working again with her friend and writing new articles. While her thoughts were drifting away she cooked a quick dish and began to eat. For once in a long time she listened to her "lit AF" playlist. She may have been dancing a little and the neighbors probably pretended that they couldn't hear the loud music coming from the kitchen.

Night had fully fallen and the music slowly faded away. It took a moment for Yennefer's eyes to adjust to the gloom of her bedroom. Small candles were disposed on the furniture inside the small room. After she got herself into her deep blue pajamas she lit them up, took a pen and started writing a list. A list full of random ideas she would use as soon as she starts her new job. "On monday" said the lady from this afternoon. She remembered their meeting, every moment of it, while smelling the scent that was now filling up the room. Lilac and gooseberries. This smell was the only one that she reckons liking, as far as she could remember.  
Her little activity wasn't supposed to take all night long, but she was just too excited to sleep. Excited to work. It must've been the cause of her sleepless night and that is what she believed.  
The traffic in the city only became a nightmare when it was around 10am. By the sound that came out of her windows she figured it was time to get up even if she didn't sleep at all.  
The next night went on the same way. And the next after that. With probably too little sleep than a human can endorse she poured wine in her favorite glass and tried to relax on the sofa. It was already sunday when she finally fell asleep.

Monday morning started very badly for Yennefer. She realized that when she looked at her watch and read 9:22. Her new job expected her to be there at 9:00.  
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck !" Yennefer took out her phone and texted Triss trying to ignore the fact that her head was hurting like she fell on the floor during her sleep. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

9:25  
"Hey Triss ! Huge problem. I just woke up. I need you to keep Tissaia occupied so she won't notice. I'll owe you one ! Ily"

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

Yennefer hoped it wasn't too late and that her new boss wouldn't notice and fire her ass out of the building as soon as she crossed the doors. She left her apartment shortly before 9:45. After she hopped on the train, a buzz was heard. She unsheathed her phone faster than her shadow to see that she had received a text.

\------------------------------------------------------------------

9:57  
"Duly noted" 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

That was it. That was the text she got from her friend.  
Getting more and more stressed, she tried to breathe slowly while watching the landscape unfolding before her eyes. Triss would find something -anything- that ought to keep Tissaia occupied long enough before she could get there. Thirty minutes. She spent the last thirty minutes trusting her friend. "Anything. Please find something Triss..." The words kept repeating in her head.

She entered the building slowly but surely. "Welcome to The Witcher" said a random man leading Yennefer inside. "Everyone is already here. And Triss, I assume you know."

"Triss and I have been through the wars together, and we have the scars to prove it." The joke had, unfortunately, no effect at all on the young man. Too bad for him. The rictus of a smile appeared on her pretty face, but faded away quickly.  
Once she was upstairs the shy man showed her the way to her desk in an open space. Well, if she wanted to be discreet, it was over. She was doomed. Her body scrambled into the uncomfortable chair as she let out a sigh. A sigh made of both relief and stress.  
She felt a hand rest on her shoulder and turned around to be faced with a familiar smiling face.

"I can't believe you choose today of all days to be late for the first time in your life Yen ! What a way to start." Triss laughed and Yennefer gave her a hug after punching her shoulder gently.  
"Please tell me I'm not going to be fired" said the worried woman.

Triss's smile fainted away as she answered her friend's interrogation. "Tissaia is waiting for you in her office, and she hates waiting." That was true. Deep down Yennefer knew that the not so young lady hated, amongst other things, to wait.  
She took her bag and began to walk before a hand grabbed her arm.  
"I am joking you dumbass ! Of course I sorted things out. Don't be stupid and write something before she comes back from the improvised meeting I organized."

Yennefer both wanted to kill the woman and hug her again. Instead she told her how much she loved her and began to write something related to the infinite list she had worked on for the past three nights.

***

One hour later she saw her. Tissaia deVries came into the room to shake hands with everyone.  
They made eye contact first. It lasted a second or two but it was just enough for Yennefer to feel shivers go down her spine. She looked away directly at her computer. She did it as fast as she could and tried to focus on the words on the screen in front of her. They didn't mean anything anymore. Her focus was already somewhere else.  
Yennefer was known for being a strong woman but it felt like her life could slip out of her hands when she was near her new boss. Speaking of her. Tissaia was now standing next to Yennefer's chair.

"Hello Mrs Vengerberg. Already working." Said the lady wearing a grey shirt with rolled up sleeves as she handed her hand to the speechless woman. Her chest tightened, and her mouth felt dry. The newly hired woman looked up at her, eyebrows raised. Yennefer tried to keep her face expressionless as they shake hands.  
"Hello Mrs deVries." She was quick to reply, like she already knew exactly what to say.  
"Bring me the finished piece in my office once it's done." The message was terse, a command rather than a request. She turned around and left the office. The sound of her heels was still echoing in Yennefer's head.

"All we can do is try not to make her angry." Triss somehow got her out of her thoughts.

"Tissaia ?" Yennefer was quick to reply to her friend, now standing where her boss was a few seconds sooner.

"Who else ?"

"What makes her angry ?"

"Glad you're finally asking. Well... We can't open the windows, sing, or laugh. We're also not allowed to raise our voice."

"Is that all ?" Surprise slipped out with those words. Yennefer not being able to control anything anymore.

"She also told us not to enter her office at night, when she is not in it or without knocking on the door."

The last answer wasn't really a surprise to Yennefer. She knew Tissaia would be somewhat of a control freak but it clearly didn't help her mind keeping her thoughts strictly professionals. She had to pinch herself to get back to work properly after this little conversation. Fully focused on writing something that would make Tissaia proud. Weirdly, her work being validated by the middle age lady became her obsession.

It was already the end of the day when Yennefer decided to turn down Triss's drink proposal. She pretended a headache and a lack of sleep. The last one made Triss laugh but she didn't make any joke nor try to make her change her mind.  
Yennefer really needed to rest and treat herself tonight. She knew it.

Once back at her house she bustled around the kitchen, her skirt swishing, her high heels tap-tapping on the floor to the sound of music, getting out her candlesticks, her candles, and, last but not least, the wine. When it started to get dark, she got in a warm bath. Slowly closed her eyes as her mind finally calmed down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my mother tongue so I'm sorry for the mistakes ! Hope you'll stick with me anyway :)


	3. I know why you are here.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yennefer's first article and a karaoke night?

It was thursday when she finished her first piece for the magazine. A full on article about witches and feminism during The Renaissance. All about how powerful women were seen as evil. One last time, she had read her favorites parts, just to make sure everything was perfect.

  
  


_« The witch is a stereotype used to control women in 1692._

_Patriarchal beliefs about gender and behavior are the reasons women were divided into handmaidens of God or servants of Satan. Patriarchal systems within this society separated women. Witches were not only a threat to men, but also a threat to the women who conformed to their way of life. [...]_

_At a time of a generalized ideology of domination, stereotypical images of womanhood take on special meaning. Because the scope to define societal norms is a major instrument of power. [...] »_

  
  


Yennefer was torn between being proud of it and scared to show it to Tissaia deVries and hearing her thoughts. Her brain not being able to only pick one emotion as she had never felt this way about something she wrote. She looked down at her desk, wondering what, exactly, she was supposed to be doing.

  
  


Four o'clock is the time that the black watch adorning Yennefer's right wrist showed when she quickly gathered her belongings. Papers, all sorts of pens and a few other things -that made sense only to their owners- were all over the small-ish furniture that was her desk. The mess had spread out a little on her neighbor's writing desk. He seemed grumpy. His hair was long and silver, almost white, tied up in a low ponytail. Yennefer quickly apologized but got nothing in return. She thought she heard the tall man growl but wasn't sure about that.

  
  


To be honest, Yennefer wasn't paying attention to anyone but Triss since she arrived. Well... And Tissaia. Every time they had shaken hands or had talked in a meeting their eyes had shared a moment together. That was probably unintentional but Yennefer couldn't help but believe it might've been. She wasn't sure if Tissaia was doing it on purpose and felt the connection between them or if she was day dreaming every time she thought there was _something_. When their body had gotten close her brain had exploded.

Yet, she had to think about her boss being her boss and only that. Strictly professional interactions. It was important to keep boundaries between them and Yennefer had to make a huge effort to do so.

  
  


Speaking of the devil, Yennefer found herself frozen in front of _the_ office after she walked for several minutes and took the stairs up without realizing it. She couldn't understand why she was so scared of the woman behind the metal door. If it was even fear. Maybe it was excitement ? Surely not. She convinced herself it was 100% not that.  
After shaking her head, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

  
  


"Come in. It's open." The female voice was coming out from the inside and was as bossy as in Yennefer's memories from the last time she was in the room. She pushed the door handle and entered the room answering the order from the woman.

She cleared her throat before talking. "I'm here to give you my first article."

  
  


"I know why you are here Mrs Vengerberg. Put it here." She said, pointing the corner of her imposing desk made of glass. Yennefer obeyed the very clear order from the older woman and stood still in front of the desk. She waited for Tissaia to take the paper and read it.

"What are you waiting for?"

  
  


"Nothing Mrs deVries." The words came out rapidly from the black haired woman mouth letting her anxiety show up for a split second before regaining confidence. Her right eyebrow rose up as she pronounced the following words. "I hope you will like it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Have a nice evening."  
She turned around and left a speechless woman on her chair. Tissaia fixed her as she left the room. Her gaze locked on the young woman. Yennefer knew she was doing it and waved her hips boldly without glancing back at her when she closed the door.

  
  


Proud. She was really proud of herself for standing up to Tissaia deVries for the first time. It felt good even if there wasn't an obvious reason as to why she felt this way. At least, not now and not for Yennefer.

She had the feeling that the tables had turned. That she was finally being the strong woman she was and showed it to the only person that she wanted to show it to.

  
  


Finally feeling powerful -and attractive- again after weeks she texted Triss inviting her to a karaoke night. Stating that she could bring some people from work with her and specifying her wish to drink and sing along to Taylor Swift's songs all night long.

  
  


***

  
  


She stopped by her apartment to pick an outfit in which she felt more comfortable dancing. Today, she had worn a grey blouse, a few shades darker than she usually wears, and a red dark colored skirt. Her next choice of the day stopped on a simple pair of black jeans and a sweater she felt comfortable in. She quickly took her bag and went outside.

  
  


Yennefer was greeted by Calanthe as soon as she took a step into the karaoke bar. The two people knew each other music tastes better than their own because of all the singing they did together. Triss would've said that their "singing" was just a very annoying noise if she would have been here. But that was not Yennefer's concerns.  
Calanthe asked her what she wanted to drink before realizing that the answer would obviously be "Japanese whiskey on the rocks, please". As usual when Yennefer was in a mood for a long night full of rainbow themed songs or full of the entire Abba discography, both would've been a good guess.

  
  


  
  


Triss arrived shortly after. The shy boy, the grumpy one and a blonde girl following her.

  
  


"Yen ! Of course you'd be there early. I should've guessed that ! I am so happy to be here again, you have no idea how much I've missed this !" Yennefer received a tight hug and gave it back. She was happy too. She wouldn't admit it but the smile on her face betrayed her.  
The shy boy came to her first. He looked excited and no longer shy so Yennefer decided to play it cool and not overthink the situation nor analyze every new people she would meet tonight.

  
  


"Hi, I'm Jaskier. Nice to meet you, I really liked your book by the way. I hope the first days at work weren't that difficult. Nice choice of bar though. I would've never bet that you would be the kind of person to go there. I can't wait to get to know you ! What are you drinking ?"

  
  


That was a lot of words for a man she had put in the shy box, she thought, while processing the things he had said. Then it hit her.

  
  


"What kind of person do you think I am exactly ?!"

The man answered without blinking. "The cold one. And the mean one. You know, that's what you want us to think right?"

  
  


Yennefer was shocked by the honesty of the guy now sitting beside her. She kind of liked him and she'd deal with his case later. One way or another.  
Geralt introduced himself briefly and Sabrina did the same right after. Sabrina seemed nice and knowing that Triss trusted her felt heartwarming. The group of colleagues ordered some drinks to Calanthe. Triss took some fancy wine, Jaskier and Geralt took the same beer and Sabrina chose some random cocktail to try something new.

They were ready to start the night.

  
  


What a night it was. Jaskier had revealed himself to be a passionate singer and Yennefer had finally found an opponent to her singing hobby.  
After a few drinks Geralt and Jaskier had left together. Triss found herself fast enough to talk before Yennefer had the chance to do so.

  
  


"Yes. They are dating and yes they are very cute even if they have nothing in common at first sight. Now, no word about that at work. Understand ?"

Yennefer raised her hands in the air. "Got it ! Won't tell !"

The two women found themselves gossiping again, finally, and Sabrina was very welcome to do it with them.

  
  


It was 2am when they realized they had to wake up and work the next day. Well, now it was already today. They had decided that they will have plenty other occasions to finish their stories and gush about their past and current crushes. Yennefer had made sure that she didn't talk about her new obsession -yet, not a crush at all- over Tissaia in the past few days.

  
  


When she arrived at her house she drank as much water as she could and took some pills praying that they will help at avoiding a huge hangover when she would wake up in a few hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know where I'm going with this but... anyway ! I'm doing it.


	4. What's on your mind ?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yennefer learns a little bit more about Tissaia.

Friday morning went by faster than Yennefer had intended it to go.

Tissaia wasn't working today. At least, she was not in the building of the magazine. Yennefer felt a rush of disappointment that was tinged with relief. She was glad that she wouldn't be out there, watching her, as she would be embarrassing herself with her -still- half-drunk behavior. She started to think about her eyes and their pretty shade of grey-blue, and how her eyebrows were naturally arched. How her hair tied in a perfect way, the way she would elegantly walk through the hallways of the building. Above all, it was her smile that she wanted to see, more than anything else. Tissaia DeVries never smiled.

“Triss ?” Yennefer cleared her throat. She had barely spoken during the day. Her voice sounded rusty. She was aware of how she must look.

  
  


“Yen ?”

  
  


« Do you know where is Tissaia ? » Her chest felt heavy every time she had to make a reference to Mrs deVries. Yennefer was really careful not to let her useless lesbian brain take control over her sayings before every sentence exited her mouth.

« She's taking care of a child. I don't know if she's her daughter but every time she misses a day... or a week of work, it's because of that. I don't know much more about it. We think the girl might be sick or something. But it's just a rumor. »

  
  


With those words, Triss, Sabrina and Yennefer went to Starbucks together to take a break. They sat on a bench in the small park that was just a few minutes away from their work place. Despite the cold, there was a heart-warming sun glowing in the cloudless sky. The woman with purple eyes was the only one to have a cold drink in her hands, sticking with her will of pretending to be a heartless bitch.

  
  


"So, what do you think about Tissaia ?" Triss took Yennefer out of her thoughts. -once again, it seemed like it was becoming an habit-  
"It's been a week already and you're not ranting about her behavior yet. I'm starting to worry a bit about your condition, are you ill or something ?"

  
Yennefer almost choked on her drink as she had been slowly sipping it. She was sitting motionless, her face blank, her eyes unfocused. Right. Triss has always been the one to bring risky topics into their conversations. She wasn't ready to deal with any of that for the moment. So, gathering her best lying abilities she answered quickly.

  
  


"We haven't talked a lot you know. As long as I can write whatever I want I'll be okay with her. What do you guys think about her ? You've known her longer than I."

  
  


Her voice trailed off, the way it was doing when she spoke about her past teachers. Letting no emotion show of. Now wasn't the time. And mainly because there was no emotion to show -for now-. Sabrina was sipping her way too sweet hot chocolate as she waited for Triss to rant about their boss. Instead, the curly haired woman tried her best to be unbiased. Their conversation had just begun and Triss was already starting to regret it. She knew Sabrina was going to talk about something that she -really- did not want to talk about to her friend.

  
  


"You know, she's the owner of The Witcher. She is demanding when it comes to our articles. Sometimes she's... _harsh_ ? But to be honest you can count on her if you have a problem. Any problem actually. She gives pretty good advices."

  
  


"Come on !? You're not talking about her little... _hobbies_ ? I feel like Yennefer would love to hear about it !" Uncontrolled chuckles came out from Sabrina and Triss pretended to hit the cup she was holding.

  
  


"What?" She was now protecting her cup like it was a fragile newborn. "It's only fair that she knows !"

  
  


Yennefer played with the ice cubes and her metal straw. "Am I just supposed to sit and wait ?" She heard a sight before hearing an answer.

  
"It's just a rumor. Nothing is confirmed yet... And we shouldn't be working on it."

  
  


"Liar. We are investigating the case. That's exactly why we need you in the team !" Sabrina was too enthusiastic for the not- _yet_ -confirmed "hobby" not to be a huge shock. Yennefer could not think of anything. She was lost and her curiosity was as strong as ever. Her senses had awaken. Head, shoulders and back standing straight on the bench ready to not flinch.

  
  


"She might be into... _kinky stuff_." Triss had gave up on her will to not let Yennefer know this little detail.

  
  


The raven-haired woman froze. While every muscle from her body decided to fake death and not move an inch the red blush coming to her cheeks felt very much alive.  
Her brain was quick to think about Tissaia tied up on her bed begging her to ease the throbbing pain between her thighs while Yennefer enjoyed every move her deprived body was making. She thought about the words she would use to make the helpless woman even more desperate for her to bring her fingers where she needed to feel them.

Fingers were snapping before her eyes as the images in head faded away.

  
  


"Damn Yen ! We thought you had a stroke." Sabrina was laughing very loudly and Yennefer realized what had just happened. "See Sabrina ! You moron ! That's clearly why we shouldn't have talked about this in the first place."

They were now laughing together as Yennefer stood up. Wordless. Not even a smile on her face. She didn't even bother to talk to the women again as they started walking.

  
  


When she sat back to her desk she realized once again that she was glad that Tissaia wasn't working today. Their possible encounter could've crash every effort Yennefer was making to avoid admitting to herself that she found her middle age boss really attractive.

  
Instead of doing that she drowned into work. Ignoring her surroundings for the rest of the day.

  
  


The playlist she put on shuffle once at home was called "ugh" featuring songs such like "SEX IN MY MIND", "bad" or "Dreams".  
She promised to herself this night and planned on keeping it. There was no way she would try to pass by Tissaia's cold attitude.

Yennefer clearly did not want to see her acting soft around her nor hoped the lady was at least a bit flustered when they were in alone in the same room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter. I'll do my best for the next one !


	5. We need to talk

Despite the recent discovery, and regardless of the rather interesting fact, Yennefer was prepared for it all to end in disaster. She had spent a great deal of her week-end imagining what their... interactions might look and sound like.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw someone moving, slowly walking her way. She glared in its direction. It was monday afternoon when Tissaia deVries gave back her first article to Yennefer. Red lines all over the piece of paper. No words from the steady woman. She turned around and, just like that, got out of the office. Something was written on the paper.

  
  


"Redo it."

  
  


She felt her ego shattered into small pieces when she read the red annotation. At first, anger came to her mind and she felt the urge to get up and scream in the room 28 where Tissaia must've went back to. Instead she took her article and stepped back in her chair. Trying to understand what was so bad about it. Was it the topic ? The words used ? Maybe she didn't like her style ?

“ _What… what… what just happened ?”_ she asked herself in disbelief. She knew exactly what had happened; she just didn't want to admit it. Tissaia had just rejected her first article.  
After a few minutes of self thinking, Yennefer gave it to the grumpy man beside her and asked him for his opinion. He didn't even took a glare at the writing he was handled.

  
  


"Hm. If it is your first article don't pay attention to it. Put it in the trash can and focus on something else. First pieces never gets published."

  
  


"For real ?! You have to be kidding me Geralt ?!"

  
  


Half of their co-workers were now looking in their direction. Starring directly at the black-haired woman. She was making noise.

No matter how many deep breaths she took or how hard she rubbed her eyes, the feeling did not vanish. Yennefer was angry. The thing she had wrote was great -if not amazing- and deserved to be published. It was not some silly rule that will prevent the world from reading it. She won't let this pass.  
Regaining her strength and confidence she got up and went straight to Tissaia's office. She felt more and more comfortable about talking to the lady in charge of the magazine and today was her day. Nothing could stop her. She was in the mood. A little argument never killed anyone, right ?   
She forgot to knock as she entered the office. The attractive woman inside was sitting on her chair, legs crossed, focused on writing something on a grey paper. Her blue eyes meet Yennefer's.

  
  


"We need to talk."

  
  


Tissaia deVries put her pen on the desk and turned the paper upside down. Hiding it. Preventing Yennefer to be able to see what she was doing. Making sure she was in control in every way possible.

"What is it about Mrs Vengerberg ? And it better be a good reason for you to enter my office the way you did."

  
  


Yennefer was looking at her boss like she was on the verge of a breakdown, and to be fair, she was. The tone of Tissaia's voice was harsh. Yennefer no longer felt the soft intonation that she got used to hearing from Tissaia. Anger from both women filled up the office quickly. The door went shut in a split second. The two women -now isolated from the world- stared at each other like they were about to yell. Instead of doing that, Yennefer did her best not to seem furious.

  
  


"I don't understand why my first article was rejected. I put my soul into this. All my spare time was used to make it perfect for the magazine. I just want to know why ? Am I really this bad ?"

  
  


The last question was not intentional. Yennefer did not want to let her guard down, yet she did. The armor that was always around her broke into small pieces, leaving enough space for Tissaia to stab her with words while her tears would fight so as not to go out.   
The woman stood up, got around her desk, getting closer to Yennefer. She was now facing her, three or four steps away from her.

  
  


"You know, sometimes a flower is just a flower, and the best thing it can do for us is to die." She let the silence get into the conversation they were having before Yennefer broke it. Anger and chaos coming out as she started talking.

  
  


"Oh come on ! Don't play mysterious deVries with me. Especially not now. There has to be an explanation. You cannot do whatever you want. Not without a good reason.  
Are everyone else so scared of you that they allow you to take shitty decisions without blinking ?!"

  
  


Tissaia had never seen someone talk to her like that. Yennefer could tell by her facial expressions. Yet, she stayed very calm and looked rather unbothered.

Despite her desperate pleas, Tissaia deVries refused to answer her questions. Staying in control of what she was doing, what she was saying and what she was showing.

"I do not owe you an explanation. If you want to stay, Mrs Vengerberg, I'd suggest you do as I say.  
Now, I think you should go back and re-read your own book. "Balance and control. Without them chaos will kill you."

Follow your own advice Mrs Vengerberg."

  
  


Yennefer was shocked that Tissaia had read her book and that she just quoted her own words from it. Her anger eased a bit. She was soft for the woman and every little detail could make her heart feel numb at anytime. Although the young woman still had no idea what was really bothering her, she thought she had given her a decent advice. She was making a fool out of herself by yelling.

  
She looked at the woman in front of her. A dress. Tissaia was wearing a dress. It looked heavenly on her. It was a grey dress covering almost all of her body, from neck to ankle. Elegantly made. She could tell it was an expensive one. That wasn't really a surprise to anyone, she thought.

It didn't take long for her to remember the events of her week end. The memories made the pink color rise from her cheeks. The hands of the -really- attractive and powerful woman were grabbing the edge of the desk and Yennefer felt herself go wet from all the anger and arousal that her body released at the wrong timing. Her eyes and mind lured by her perfect curves.  
Finally, Tissaia broke of the silence and put an end to the intense staring.

  
  


"Get out of my office Mrs Vengerberg. You and I both have things to finish."

  
  


***

  
  


The end of the week finally came.

It felt so long to Yennefer for two reasons. The first one was that she had to write something else from scratch and that was taking her more time than she would've thought. The second was that she had tried very hard to stop her brain from thinking about her little fight with Tissaia. This was draining her body and she was exhausted.  
She wouldn't acknowledge the third reason, but there was one. Tissaia deVries was missing. Since monday. That had clearly worried Yennefer and she had spent hours trying to figure it out what happened to her. She tried to learn a little bit about "the child".

  
Surprisingly enough, none of her co-workers seemed to care. She heard a few of them saying that "The less she is here the more we can make noise". That wasn't entirely false but her eyebrows were arching in exasperation each time she heard a bad comment or a joke about Tissaia absence.  
  
Yennefer felt guilt build in her stomach each morning. Her attitude in their last meeting was not the image of herself that she wanted Tissaia to see. Especially if she had really read her book. That was the opposite of what the woman had wrote and now she was afraid that Tissaia may have liked the book version of herself better than her-true-self.   
  
When she told Triss what had happened, she made a ton of jokes about being fired and losing everything. That wasn't really helping the newly -kind of- paranoiac woman. Yennefer was as much as a control freak as Tissaia and understanding that she had not that much control over her life and emotions since she started her job was painful to endorse.  
Finally, Triss told her that there was no reason to worry as it was not the first time Tissaia went missing for days without any official explanations. Her and Sabrina had lead an investigation to try and find out what was happening every time she was gone.  
  
"We already told you we think she is taking care of a child when she is missing. There's no reason to worry, Yen."  
  
Sabrina was quick to put a disclaimer out there. "And, for the record, we did not follow her after work. And surely did not find where she lives to figure it out."  
  
Yennefer left out a chuckle before asking them for more details. The last time they had talked about it was too short. More informations and details were needed from the young woman.   
  
"Well, we have noted that there was a little girl at her house and that they were playing together in Tissaia's yard when she was not at work."  
  
Yennefer's jaw clenched at the thought of Tissaia probably being married with a child. She shook her head fast before images could settle up in her mind. Regardless of Triss's last comment about how she wasn't sure if it was her daughter or not.  
Triss should have felt Yennefer concern because she tried her very best to ease her mind.

  
  
"What we know for sure is that she is not married. But, yeah, maybe she has a child... or she's taking care of someone else's daughter."

  
  


"Who knows?" Sabrina was now fully involved in whatever shenanigans Triss and Yennefer were used to have. Her little -really invasive- investigation convinced Yennefer that she really liked her.

  
  


"Do you want to go out tonight, Yen ? Jaskier and Geralt sent us a text earlier. I think it'll help you..." Triss was worried about her. She had every right to do so and her proposition was rather tempting but she did not accept it.

  
  


" Some of us have plans to drink alone tonight." said back Yennefer frantically. She did not wanted to sound this rude. Yet, she did not apologized and left the office. Taking her purse and heavy -fake- fur coat. She knew Triss wouldn't be angry at her. She would probably think that Yennefer was in a shitty mood, still frustrated and tired from her week.


	6. Tissaia, listen to me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More interaction between Yennefer and Tissaia ? You ask and shall receive ! 
> 
> Please write down your thoughts in the comments, it really motivates me to continue writing.

Yennefer widened her eyes in mock horror at Tissaia’s daring, pleased-with-herself smile.

  
  


“Lie down.” Tissaia tried for a dom, teasing tone.

  
  


“I thought this was going to be a work demonstration.” Yennefer had never wanted something so much in her entire life, but she kept her tone casual. Playing the dumb one seemed like the best way to act right now.

  
  


“This is my way of showing you how to behave.” With those words, doubt flickered across Yennefer’s face. Tissaia had noticed. “Unless you don’t want me to ?” Tissaia was bossy, yet always respectful. Making sure no boundaries were crossed. The young lady nodded and laid back on pillows, trying not to appear too eager.

Her dilated pupils betrayed her. Her eyes were wide open with lust and hunger in them. The woman in control of the situation took the opportunity to take this further.

  
  


“Take your pants off.”

  
  


Yennefer was fast to obey to the clear order and wriggled out of the jeans she’d worn. Underneath them, she wore plain red lace underwear. Her legs were smooth. She was ready for Tissaia. She would always be. She felt her belly contract and flutter when Tissaia brushed it with her fingertips. When she felt fingers drawing circles against her thigh, just above her knee, while Tissaia's mouth took care of her breast, she let out a soft moan.

Tissaia smiled as she took handcuffs with her left hand and slid its edges up, tracing a line along the inside of Yen’s leg. The metal brushing against her was cold almost like torture. She enjoyed the feeling way too much. The sub part of herself started showing as she was whining for more.

  
  


"P- _please_. Tissaia, I need more."

  
  


Tissaia left kisses in Yennefer's neck before biting hard as a punishment, leaving a mark where she wanted to. As an answer to the words she heard, she moved the object toward the leg band of Yen’s underwear, her pace excruciatingly slow, before pulling it away and running it back along Yennefer’s thigh. The weak woman found herself squirming as Tissaia dragged the handcuffs up to her wrists, tying them above the woman's head.

  
  


"Do not try to move. You wouldn't want to make me angry, would you ?"

  
  


Just when the black-haired woman was getting ready to say something back, a hand moved in between her legs, spreading them. Tissaia shoved her other hand over Yennefer’s belly, preventing her to move as she wished.

Yennefer’s hands were clenched into fists, and she attempted rocking her hips, trying to pump them up and down, desperate for Tissaia to bring her fingers where she needed to feel them. She could feel sweat gathering at her temples and the small of her back. Her breathing was drowning out. The pace still too slow was getting on Yennefer's nerves.

  
  


“Do you like it?” Tissaia's voice sounded a little husky.

  
  


“Y- _yes_!” Yennefer managed to say.

  
  


“Will you behave if I go faster?”

  
  


She nodded, not trusting herself to speak. She tried and grabbed onto Tissaia's comforter with both her hands, spreading her legs wider.

  
  


“Say it, piglet. I want to hear you.”

  
  


Struggling to follow what was happening, Yennefer knew that she had to obey if she did not want Tissaia to leave. The blue and daring gaze resting on her breast was enough to send Yennefer somewhere else. She could do whatever Tissaia would ask.

  
  


"I will behave, mistress."

  
  


"Good girl." Tissaia said as she put her fingers inside her. Pulsing them at a low speed that wouldn't be relief to Yennefer yet.

  
  


The effect was electric. Yennefer felt her body arc off the bed. Her nails dug into the comforter as best as they could, and she gasped once, harshly, the sound almost like a sob.

Tissaia grabbed her throat in her right hand, squeezing softly, while she shifted her fingers so that her thumb could find her clit. Heat and delicious tension were blooming in her belly and between her legs, the sensation threatening to overwhelm her. She felt her entire body stiffen, in preparation for some release.

  
  


“Oh!” she attempted, her voice cracking, her hips lifted. Before she could stop herself, before she could think, she reached up, wrapping her arms around the back of Tissaia's neck, pulling her down on top of her until they were chest to chest and mouth to mouth. The kiss was rough, just like Yennefer expected it to be. She enjoyed it when Tissaia answered her move by biting her lower lips.

  
_“She’ll slap me”_ , she thought dimly, as Tissaia's hand, trapped between their bodies, tilted at the perfect angle, still thrumming against her. She felt another hand leaving her throat to find her hair, pulling hard as the pace fasten. Widening waves of pleasure were rolling out from that place, all through her body while they were kissing harshly, the older woman biting her jaw and neck every few times, shamelessly enjoying herself. Tissaia's mouth was as sweet as she’d known it would be, her tongue hot, vital and absolutely necessary.  
  
  


"T-Tissaia... _please_..."

  
  


"Stop talking, piglet."

  
  


With this nickname, her legs locked, muscles shaking. Her inner walls clenched as she reached orgasm. Eyes shut.  
  
  


***

  
  


It was almost 3am when she woke up hardly breathing. She just had a dream that she couldn't believe she had done if it wasn't for the pulse and fire she felt between her legs.  
_"You have to be kidding me."_ She thought to herself. Yet she did think about having rough sex with the owner of "The Witcher".  
Yennefer knew it wouldn't be the last time she'd dream about Tissaia deVries. Her frustration growing more and more on herself.

This week had seemed like torture. And not the good one. Not the one she would like to receive.

She had not been able to touch or brush against Tissaia by accident. Her scent already felt like an old memory as it faded away. Her eyes couldn't drown into the pale blue ocean of Tissaia's eyes. And she almost forgot what it felt like to receive orders from her. Other than in her own imagination.  
  
That night she finally admitted to herself that she had a crush on the one and only Tissaia deVries. She swore not to make a scene out of this situation by acting cool. Yes, _"play it cool"_ , she knew that as a useless lesbian it was going to be difficult but she would try her very best. Yennefer did not want to make her boss uncomfortable or embarrassed.

  
  


***

On monday Yennefer had done what she needed to do. She had put to approval her second, officially first, article to her boss. Once in the office 28, she had quickly realized Tissaia seemed exhausted. She had not tried to argue with Yennefer and that was not her habits. She had even said thank you when she had put the paper down on her desk very carefully.

The two women were looking at each other with empathy in their gaze. Yennefer wanted to ask if she was fine and if she needed help or anything else. Maybe Tissaia was feeling a little bit of guilt after throwing away her first article. The young woman couldn't tell. She spotted a detail on the usually flawless face of her boss. Her heart almost missed a beat and she didn't think about what she was about to say.

"Your eyes are red Mrs DeVries. Did you cry ?"

"Not now, Mrs Vengerberg. This is not a conversation we're going to have."

"If it is necessary, yes, this is definitely something we're going to talk about."

"Mrs Vengerberg, I..." Yennefer thought she had heard a tint of pain in Tissaia's words. It quickly dissolved into nothing again. "You should get back to work."  
  
Instead of speaking further they stayed silent. It lasted a minute or two before Yennefer walked four steps closer to the desk and sat down on the chair in front of her.

“Do you have to sit like that?” Tissaia asked as Yen was sitting in the chair with her legs spread apart. Annoyingly attractive.

“Why does it matter how I sit?” Some rules she understood, but others were mysteries. Tissaia pressed her hands to her head, groaning. She sighed. She knew Yennefer would win this little game. She was tired and so, did not try to fight with the young woman. It was not her habits to give up so fast but she was not in the mood.

"I can't always be there for my niece. She is not ordinary, she is a wonderful and a very smart, very special girl. Yet, I can't take care of her how I would like to..." Silence filled up the room before Tissaia continued speaking. "How I should."

The dynamic between the women was the opposite of what it had been since they knew each-other. A soft Yennefer thought about what to say, what to do. 

“Tissaia, listen to me.” The woman looked into Yennefer's dark purple eyes. Surprised by hearing her first name in her mouth. “No matter where you go or what you do, your niece will still love you."

Tissaia shook her head, her expression woeful. “You don't know. You’re not there, and you don’t _know_ her."

“Your niece _loves_ you,” she said. Tissaia turned her face to the wall and didn’t respond. Yennefer thought she heard her boss saying something, but she didn’t speak again, or look at her. After a while, she decided to leave the office, letting her some space.

Yennefer left the woman alone for the rest of day. But she was occupying her thoughts all day. She came to the conclusion that she had to convince her that she could help but she had to do it right.  
  
  
***  
  
  


Tuesday morning arrived soon and Tissaia was already saying hello to everyone. When she came to Yennefer the whole room could feel their chemistry.

  
  
"Mrs Vengerberg. How are you today ?"

  
  
"I should be asking that question to you Mrs deVries. But I am fine thank you for asking. Do you think we could have a chat together today ?" Tissaia frowned. Probably trying to evaluate the situation and thinking about an appropriate answer.

"I don't have much time. Follow me, we can talk in my office right now if you want." When she turned around she didn't even glare at Yennefer. She knew she would come.  
  
The two women walked down the hallway without speaking. Yennefer -for once- was wearing a suit. It was a dark blue one, probably too expensive to risk to ruin it and that's why it had stayed in her dressing for as long as possible. Until today. She wanted to impress her boss. Tissaia had a red dress covering her legs to her feet. She was elegant in this clothing and Yennefer felt her heart pinch a little. As a warning, her brain sent her an electric shock to avoid her from thinking about this dress on the floor of the famous office 28. Goosebumps appeared on her body.  
  
"You can sit if you want." Said Tissaia while settling down in her chair. Tissaia’s voice was flat. Yennefer felt herself exhale, imagining she could feel her heartbeat slow. She cleared her throat before words could come out from her mouth.

" _Thank you_."


	7. Be patient

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled a lot with this chapter. Hope it turned out ok-ish.

Breaking the awkward silence, Yennefer spoke. Trying her best not to scare Tissaia away. -Well, _her best_ wasn't that convincing...-

"I know I'm largely to blame for our little cold war, but it's gone long enough. If you need help with your niece, surely you and I can be something like friends." This time, Yennefer's smile almost appeared genuine to Tissaia for a second.

She glanced at the paper on her desk. It was one of several articles which had been written by Triss. Yennefer could tell. A cold tone took her out of her thoughts.

"And now ? What's the real reason you asked for a talk ?" The words hurting Yennefer like daggers piercing her skin. She was frozen. Not able to answer, she started laughing nervously. Chuckles grew on Tissaia, making her more and more annoyed by the young woman. She lost patience very quickly.

"You should be more mature than that Yennefer of Vengerberg, do not come back in my office if you're going to behave like this. Leave. Now."

There was no worse feeling for Yennefer than the one she was feeling right now. Yet, she stood up without apologizing and left the room.

***

Yennefer looked up at the ceiling, exposing the slim column of her throat. “You are dumb.” Triss said out loud. She was sat on Geralt's chair looking at Yennefer in despair.

Yennefer winced, recognizing the truth of what Triss had said; the way she and other woman were acting was dumb. She knew she ought to be polite, kind, even generous to the woman who had offered her a job. Yet, it was the opposite.

Yennefer got to her feet, looking moody as she stared out the window.

“I remember when I was sixteen, there was a sunny day. My mother had a bridge party, or a tea with some neighbors, or something. My dad's daughter was there that day and when it was almost time for me to go she told me I was unwanted. Not even worthy of living with them. I remember standing in the kitchen, tears in my eyes, waiting for my dad to come back so I could go. As soon as he arrived he told me that I looked like a pig and that pigs couldn't go out.”

Yennefer's voice was bitter. She blew out air from her nostrils, before going back to her desk. “It made me sick. But even that is nothing compared to what I'm feeling right now.”

Triss already knew the story and how strong of a memory it was to her friend. 

“Tell me what happened with Tissaia.”

Yennefer explained, giving Triss more details of the story than she would usually share.

Before realizing it, Triss hugged her, but instead of pulling the other girl close, tightening the hug to ease her like she usually does, Triss gave Yennefer's shoulder a quick squeeze and stepped back. Yennefer blinked up at her, looking startled. “I should write.” Triss said. “I’ve got a three-page paper work for my monthly reading.”

Triss not being there for her was unusual. Although it didn't really mattered for her right now.

Yennefer knew that she must have looked stunned and stupid. Pathetic, even. Tissaia had had that effect on her and her feelings began to be torn between hate, admiration and love. _Love ?_ Yennefer has never loved anyone, she has liked other girls but nothing really serious. She didn't know what love could feel like. 

It was too much for the young woman. Her brain wasn't focused anymore, and it wouldn't be. As if walking on broken glass, she walked out of the building.

***

She sat on her couch, barely moving, and turned on the screen in front of her. -Nobody knows how many hours she stayed like that.-

Her mind came back to the surface, her heart pounding, as she heard three knocks on her door. “Yen!” a feminine voice called, and her legs started moving again. Yennefer listened to the women say her name, “Yen...” and the sound of Triss quieter voice.

They went inside and locked the door behind them. Yennefer sat down in the nearest chair in her kitchen. Her mind drifted back to what Tissaia had told her about her behavior and she wondered what she had become to act like this. When she had sat in her apartment earlier that day, she had sensed her presence and strength. She could still feel it now. She missed her. 

Triss stood near her. "You will never rid the world of people who behave like that and enjoy it. The only chance you have of defending yourself is through love and compassion and doing what you can to the best of your ability."

She got up, not wanting to have this conversation.

"I'm not teaching you anything you don't know."

"Well, after that I’m not in the mood to go out." Said Sabrina. She walked over to them and held both Triss and Yennefer hands. "Let’s have a drink here and call it a night. Tissaia won't spoilt our evening."

The grumpy woman pointed an adjacent room. There was a drinks cabinet against the wall. "Take what you like." she said. "Everything is in there."

When they were seated on the sofa Sabrina asked the first question. "Why do you care that much about what Tissaia thinks of you ?" Triss gave the blonde woman a warning look Yennefer didn't comprehend.

She was quiet, probably thinking of an appropriate answer.

"I don't. But acting the way I did is not the best thing I have done. And it's bothering me."

"But you showed such anger. It doesn't make sense." she countered.

"I was angry at myself. Not at Tissaia."

"Why did you ?"

"Let her breathe Sabrina." Interrupted Triss. Yennefer was about to respond when she changed the subject. Talking, yet again, about how, in ancient times, astrology was closely linked to fields such as astronomy, philosophy and even medicine. Stating that astrology was a broad topic that deserved more recognition.

She got Sabrina at "philosophy". They were now fully involved in whatever discussion they were having, but Yennefer wasn't paying attention to any of it.

"It's the third on the left." Said Yennefer when Sabrina asked for the bathroom.

"What’s wrong?" Triss asked when Sabrina left. She was still startled by the rude silence of her friend.

Yennefer did not answer, grabbing her empty glass instead and leading it to her mouth.

"You know your glass is empty, righ ?" She said in an urgent whisper.

"I saw that." She pointed to a spot below her table. "Can you give me the bottle ?"

Triss looked to where her friend was pointing. She took the bottle of wine and gave it to her. "What is it ?" She asked again, anxiety creeping into her voice.

"Tissaia hates me." said Yennefer angrily.

"I’m sure she doesn't. Be patient with her."

"Perhaps I was mistaken." Said the black-haired woman, beginning to feel annoyed with herself. "I suppose I could've just told her the truth. I should have. I was stupid to think she wouldn't believe me."

"There, I told you." Sabrina exclaimed as she walked back in the living room, gaining some satisfaction that she had been right. Triss confessed that they had discussed about them on their way to her apartment. With a disgusted shake of her head Yennefer sent them back to their home.

_"Be patient"_ The words resonated in her head as she poured more wine into her glass.

***

It was friday morning when Jaskier had told Yennefer that Tissaia wanted to see her in her office as soon as possible.  
Yennefer rushed her way through the hallways and the stairs, worried about what her boss could've asked her for. The will to know the purpose of their meeting took her in front of the office. _"Behave, Yennefer."_ She muttered to herself. This time she knocked on the door. Making sure that Tissaia would hear it before she pushed the door open.   
Trying her very best to hide her haze, she stood in the middle of the room.  
  


"Mrs DeVries ?" Yennefer asked. "Jaskier said you wanted to see me."

The woman was seated behind her glass desk and looked so exhausted Yennefer thought she might fall asleep at any moment. Yennefer's heart missed a beat when she saw her. Besides being obviously tired, Mrs DeVries was completely drained of any fighting disposition, and she stared at the floor with a melancholy longing. _"Unusual."_ Thought Yennefer.

"Close the door behind you." she said softly. Yennefer followed her instructions and then sat at Tissaia’s desk.

“How are you feeling?” The young woman asked.

“You can stop pretending, Yennefer,” Tissaia said sharply. “I know you care much less than you’re letting on.” Yennefer’s initial instinct was to state that she did care, a lot actually, but as Tissaia looked deeply into her eyes, she realized it was useless. Instead of speaking the truth she answered as curtly as her. Not paying attention to the fact that Tissaia didn't call her "Mrs Vengerberg", for the first time.

“How did you know?” she asked.

A sudden rush of old oak and fresh fruit infiltrated her senses. The smell felt so inviting. She flicked her head to the looming shadow casted over the desk. Their eyes met as Tissaia expired smoke through her mouth.  
Yennefer's heart began to beat faster. She knew she would regret, once again, what she had just said.  
The sides of Tissaia's lips curled a bit at the sides and Yennefer's body reacted on his own. She needed her, her smile, her commands, her touch... everything. She was a mess.  
  


"I didn't know." She said, lowering her voice. "I guessed you would hate me after reading your book. I am what you despise. The authority you never want in your life ever again. Yet, you still come here and say those things to me. You lie to me over and over again. Why ?"


	8. Forgiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried putting in more details in this chapter, tell me what you think. Thank you for sticking with me.

She would tell Tissaia the truth but the most disturbing question of all was wandering her mind. Would Tissaia believe her ? Yennefer looked at her boss, and, instead of answering, asked another question.

"Why did you hire me if you knew I would probably hate you ?"

"Do you really wish to know ?"

Yennefer felt her chest start getting tight. Did she really want to know ? Was she ready for it ? Could she handle it ? She wasn't sure right now. With her last behaviors, she was hurting herself -and probably Tissaia- uselessly and even the bare memory of it created a wound in her stomach. So, she let her guard down, allowing red showing up on her cheeks as she nodded, eyes drowning in Tissaia's in an attempt to read her mind.

The gaze she got in return relaxed a bit. Then Tissaia slowly looked down inspecting the curve of her jaw, checking her cheeks -probably because of their sudden change of color- then stopped at her lips before going back up to meet the purple of her eyes.

"You are an amazing writer Yennefer. I've never liked someone's writing style as much as I like yours. I'm the owner of this magazine, I need to hire a good writer when I see one, no matter at what cost."

She looked strong, at ease, comfortable in her own skin, even though the situation was still a bit tense between them. _"Yennefer"_ So, Tissaia calling her by her first name had became usual now ?

Yennefer sighed and gave her a tremulous smile. Lifting one hand from her lap, she gave her hair a small and ironic wave, attempting a funny move to clear the air. Tissaia, however, was still cold and strong as Yennefer tried her best to be light and sweet.

She watched the woman across the way, suddenly forgetting how to speak.

"What are you waiting for ?" She said as she took a last puff from her electric cigarette and put it down on her desk.

With every second in Tissaia's presence, looking into those luminous blue eyes, smelling the scent in the office that was perfume to her, Yennefer felt herself scramble. She felt the urge to just toss everything she had said and play smart, for once.

"Forgiveness." She managed to say.

"For what ?"

"For lying." She paused before deciding to continue. "I care about you. I always have, Mrs DeVries. And I'm sorry if my actions and behavior makes you believe otherwise. Each time I lied it was because of ego and pride. And I have never regretted anything as much as I did when I was immature around you. For that I am sorry."

Tissaia sighed and then, straightening herself, slid out of her chair. As she took a few steps further, her hand rested on Yennefer's shoulder. The pressure was light but enough for the muscles at the corners of her jaw to clench in an attempt to hide her weakness. The skin of her neck got exposed when she looked up to meet Tissaia's gaze.

She stood quite still, looking square and solid in her fancy grey suit which was darker at her shoulders and above her hips. The height that her high heels gave her must have been offering her confidence because a small smile glistened on her face as she looked down on her prey.

"You don't believe me, don't you ?" Said Yennefer. Her expression was very hard to read. She doubted she had convinced Tissaia with her last words and the ambiguity of the situation wasn't helping her getting a hold on it.

"What I believe don't matter." She said while removing her hand from Yennefer's shoulder to place it on her desk gently. With a firm grip she used both her hands to pull her body up from the floor, letting herself sit on her desk. Her legs now crossed over one another in a -very- sexy way. She had been staring at Yennefer along the process of doing so, and by the look she had gotten in return she knew the effect _that_ had on her. 

Yennefer sighed gustily. She rested her stiffed body against the back of the chair, trying her best to look flirty in return of Tissaia's act. "May I try to make you change your mind ?"

Tissaia let her mouth widen into a grin before speaking again. "You'd be more convincing if you were working right now."

"Yes mistr- Ms. DeVries." She attempted a flirty grin but got a cold glare in return. Well, she must have crossed the red line then. She would make sure to remember it the next time they would spoke.

"Go, Yennefer."

Yennefer shivered. This time she knew why. She enjoyed way too much being submissive to Tissaia. She slid off the chair and got around behind it. Tissaia was now in her back, silent. She stepped forward to the door and swing her hips as she walked in the hallway, leaving the door open for Tissaia to stare longer at her.

The slight laugh Tissaia let out was half spontaneous, half annoyed. _"A stubborn one..."_ she murmured to herself, probably watching shamelessly Yennefer's ass.

***

There was something so familiar in her look but Triss couldn't put a word on it. It was when she saw the expression in the violet eyes she laughed.

“You’ve got her under your skin good and proper haven’t you ?"

"I worry about her you know. Much more than I should and I can't help it. I don’t know how long that feeling will last because I don’t know if I can handle it.”

“This is pure fiction!” said Triss cheerfully. “It’s fascinating. Why watch a movie if I can have this instead ?”  
  


As if fog was around her, Yennefer did not answer to her friend. She must have fully surrendered to her weakness and let it grow on her. Even if Triss didn't know what had happened, she knew she had to leave her alone for a few minutes because she could understand anything at all. A positive relief radiated from the face of the raven-haired woman.

After forty minutes she began to feel downright anxious about her, although she showed no sign of being disturbed. She had remained relaxed, graceful, and apparently utterly content. Her slender feet were thrust out before her and her hands were folded in her lap.

When Tissaia appeared in the room, Triss urgently crushed a white sheet into a paper dumpling and thrown it on Yennefer hoping it would take her out from whatever she was dreaming of.

Almost instantly, Yennefer straightened her pose. Shaking her head in order to find who dared to disrupt her while she was having the best dream of all time.

Her gaze met Triss's before she saw Tissaia's figure. She was talking with Jaskier. Well, _"talking"_ was a bit too much for what appeared to be a 4 or 5 words conversation. The man nodded in an answer then walked over to Yennefer's desk as Tissaia was already leaving the big office.

"From Tissaia." The assistant said awkwardly, almost with embarrassment, handing a piece of paper to her.

“ _I will wait for you in my office on monday by ten,”_ she had written. _“I will explain when I see you.”_

***

She had sent a text to Triss to ask if she could drop around and see her. She had invited her to lunch as she knew she would and here she was, sitting in her kitchen pouring wine into their glasses.

The decoration of the room had changed, she reflected, looking at it with appreciation. It was exactly like its owner, ordinary, comfortable and obstinately herself with a bunch of astrology references. There was a red mat on the floor patterned like a ritual carpet, out of date for thirty years probably. An armillary sphere stood on the mantelshelf and pots of gloxinia and musk were in the window.

She laughed, her cheeks flushing as Triss asked her for more details about her and Tissaia. They had stood like that for a few hours, eating and drinking while Yennefer told her everything she was willing to tell about her relationship with their boss.

“I haven’t done, nor felt that for years,” she ended up saying .

“Then get on with it.” said Triss, setting her freshly filled up glass before her. “Be a devil. Seduce her. Shut the other half of your brain and try this. It ought to be just right.” She had heard and seen enough of them to see that they felt the same way about each other, but none of them would act like an adult and do something about it.

Yennefer was smiling to herself but not answering her friend.

"You don’t really trust yourself, do you, Yen?"

"It's not that at all !" She protested. "It’s simply that she and I are old-fashioned people in an old-fashioned and cliché situation, in which she, clearly, is the one that should be making the first move."

Triss was opening another bottle of wine and did not answer immediately, but as she brought the bottle to the table and re-seated herself she ventured a question.

"You’re going to have a word with her on monday, aren't you?"

"Yes. Where do you wanna go with this ?"

"If she tried to kiss you, would you kiss her back?"

"Really ? Of course I will, I'm a mess when it comes to her. That's the very least I can do."

After a few more drinks, they had came to the conclusion that Tissaia was not the irresponsible type. Yennefer ought to be the one to make the first move.

***

"I need your help, Yennefer."  
Her voice deep and commanding sent pleasurable vibrations through her body. She wanted to get hold by her and never leave her again. Purposely, she pushed away the dirty thoughts that were about to come to her mind at a bad timing.  
  
"I need you to take care of Ciri this week end. I have to travel for the magazine and I cannot postpone this trip. Do you think you could manage your way to my house if I gave you the adress ?"  
  
Yennefer closed her eyes and focused until she could hear even breaths as she opened her mouth to speak. "I will, Mrs DeVries. You can trust me. I mean, I thought you hated me but I guess..." A wide grin was stuck on her face and she couldn't help but stare at Tissaia's mouth while she spoke.  
  
"I still do." She interrupted harshly. "I'll send you an e-mail before the end of the day. I expect you to be at my house by 8 on friday night."  
  
Yennefer's mind had too much to think about and couldn't think straight. She wanted to jump and dance because she could finally feel some sort of bond forming between them. Even if Tissaia had said she hated her, she knew that it was a lie. -To be honest, it was only fair she lied. Yennefer had done it first.- She wouldn't let her niece, her little princess, alone with her if it was even half the truth.

  
Without speaking again, she turned around and opened the door to get back to work. Before she could step out into chaos again she heard Tissaia's footstep coming closer. The sound of her high heels was like music to her ears. Soon, the owner of the magazine was standing in front of the open door, her hand on the handle and her eyes catching Yennefer's.  
  
"Thank you. Yennefer."  
  
"Anytime... Tissaia."  
  



	9. Do you want a drink ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive me for waiting until today to update. I was supposed to do it on purpose but to be honest procrastination gained me this week.   
> I hope you're all safe !

"Hello lover, it's the day isn't it ?" Triss scooped Yennefer into her arms after raising her eyebrows so that Yennefer could understand the innuendo.

"Shut up Triss !" Yennefer crowed. She let Triss laugh in return, then let down her arms so that she could free herself.

When she had announced her what she would be doing this weekend, Triss had asked Yennefer what she wanted their kids to call her. Since then, she hadn't stopped making jokes about the two women. This morning was just like the morning before, and the morning before that.

Yennefer rolled her eyes. "Can't you just stop these filthy insinuations ?"

"Oh ?" said Triss in an innocent voice. She knew, from her friend and from her own intuition, that jesting with Yennefer's relationship was a sure route to trouble, that's exactly why she kept being loud whenever the subject came up.

"You could at least stop pretending you don't know what I'm talking about." Yennefer said.

"Ok, ok ! How was your night ?" Triss asked, and Yennefer snorted when she replied.

"About as well as you’d expect." Triss had told her to sleep a lot and not overthink the oncoming weekend or else she would come over her apartment to knock her out. She gave Yennefer a stern and concerned look, then smiled as Tissaia swept into the room.

"Incoming." Triss murmured. Yennefer had heard the front door open and close, then Tissaia’s booming voice, saying hello to everyone. Her slim-cut navy pantsuit was immaculate, and her high-heeled shoes clicked against the floor as she approached her employees, smiling as slightly as she allowed.

"Incoming!" Triss repeated. "Look who’s here." If Tissaia had arrived a few seconds sooner she would have heard Triss. But she pretended anyway. 

"Go to work, Mrs Merigold." she ordered, bending down to greet the other woman that was now sitted in her chair.

"Hello, Mrs Vengerberg, how are you?" She extended her hand, Yennefer took it, and her and Tissaia exchanged a look, _the look_ that they have been exchanging for the past few days and made their co-workers suspicious about what their relationship was exactly. Most of the people they knew would be welcoming or, at least, tolerant of the two of them as a couple. Stregobor was the exception. Every time they were together he acted as if Yennefer and Tissaia disgusted him, and he made no attempt to disguise his disdain.

Yennefer had learned that Stregobor was the oldest employee of the magazine and acted like he could do whatever he wanted. He was odious and every one of his remarks were made of hate -and probably jealousy- so Yennefer had decided that he was a monster, and neither Triss or Sabrina had given her a reason to change her mind.

After Tissaia left, Yennefer pulled her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through what was undoubtedly one of her checklists, then proceed to write a new article.

***

Once back at her apartment on the same day, she took a shower. It was a cold one as to try to relax and think about what she would say to Tissaia once at her house.

Before she left, Yennefer made sure she was wearing one of her best outfit and that all of her stuff was in her bag. The bag was probably too big only for one weekend but too much is better than not enough. She got into the car and started to drive, making sure the address showing on the GPS was the right one. She put the volume of the music up, roll down the windows, and sing all the way. Her raven hair was long and made in a perfect way. She rested her head back, feeling the wind through her curls, wishing her anxiety would go away.

After a while she realized the city was no more than a vague memory, she looked across the expanse of dust and sand. It was as if she was driving on the edge of mars. The sun was going down and the light moved across the contours of the arid red land and its beauty was otherworldly. At times it was a soft pink like a flushing cheek. At other times it appeared as if the world was on fire.

She arrived at Tissaia's house and down a long driveway that was surrounded by miles of land covered with trees. Shock appeared on her face at the sudden change of view. She thrust her body outside. A cold breeze blew in. Craning her neck, she tried to look up.  
  
"Wow." She said to herself at the magnificent structure that was just as breath taking as it's owner. She took a deeper look at the house, it had stone bricks, wood window frames and vibrant colored flowers were growing up in the front yard. It almost felt magical. Something was poetic about the place and Yennefer felt a connection to it as she walked her way to the wooden door.  
Three knocks on the piece of wood and a few moments later, the door opened.  
  
"Yennefer, come in. Make yourself at ease."  
  
It was cold outside when Yennefer felt shivers on her skin. She could've thought it was because of the wind but she knew very well how her body reacted to Tissaia calling her by her name.  
Quite pleased with herself for not blushing, she took a step inside the house, as confident as she could. A purple dress covering little on her chest had been released from the heavy coat she had worn outside.  
The woman could feel the surprised gaze of Tissaia on her as she walked further into the hallway.  
  
The halls were painted a cream and walls were filled with expensive paintings and art masterpieces.  
Yennefer looked at her surroundings very carefully. Eyes catching up on small details resting on top of big wood furniture.  
  
Tissaia was smoking, almost ignoring Yennefer while doing so.  
On the left side of a round shaped room was a picture. Before she could analyse what was in front of her she heard a voice coming from behind her.  
  
"Do you want a drink ?"  
  
"Yes thanks. I'll take apple juice if possible."  
  
"Sure."

Instead of apple juice, Tissaia opened wine, ignoring Yennefer's demand. It was probably a 168 dollar bottle, but Yennefer didn’t think she would mind as it was probably not the only one she had in her house. She filled two glasses and Yennefer scooped hers up and took a sip without giving the liquid a proper chance to breathe. Before Tissaia could cringe, she smiled broadly.

"This is really good !" she said with clearly unfeigned enthusiasm.   
  


Observing the judging look Tissaia had on her face she attempted to look more invested in whatever _that_ was.

"No, really. I actually like this bottle. What do you call this flavor, oaky?"

"No, this one is fruity." She secretly hoped it didn't come off condescending.

"Really?" Tissaia nodded and Yennefer shrugged and took another sip.

"I have to admit I am better at recognizing the flavors of whiskies. You know, all about how the smoky aroma in whiskey results from the method of drying the malt. I'm an expert of peated and unpeated whiskies."

Yennefer was showing off her alcohol knowledge as a peacock would show her feathers to win the heart of her beloved one. She did her best so that Tissaia would forget her incorrect guess about the fancy wine she had been served.

A smile showed on Tissaia's face. She slipped her arm into Yennefer's. "Why don’t we go into the next room ?"

She led Yennefer into the television room where there was a prized leather couch -at least that's all Yennefer could see-. The wine was really good. She loved the way its heat infused her body slowly. She liked whiskey but it was harsh, the good wine rolled smoothly down her throat, spreading its heat through her chest and down her torso. She was feeling cozy in her own mind when she heard Tissaia clear her throat. Yennefer hadn't realized but she wasn't touching her anymore and she missed the feeling it procured her.

"What were you saying about whiskies ?" Her grin was wide and genuine as she looked up, daring Yennefer with her gaze. Silence fell down upon them. In front of them were probably twenty different bottles of whiskey, each one of them stood in a special place on the shelfs. The young woman felt embarrassment and folded her arms defensively across her chest.

"It's okay, you couldn't know I was an amateur of both wine and whisky." she told her and patted her arm. She was playful, not like anything Yennefer was used to. Yet, this was much appreciated from the young woman.

"Your niece isn't there ?" said Yennefer as a poor attempt to change subject.

"She's at her boarding school. Usually, when she doesn't mess up and isn't expelled for a few days, she comes home on saturday mornings. I go to pick her up at the train station and then she leaves on sunday evenings."

Yennefer had not expected an answer as candid as she just get. Eyes met and heat filled up the room. It was probably the alcohol talking but neither of the women seemed to care.

"Do not think you're getting away with this like that. Tell me more about your taste on whiskies. I'd like to hear that... Yennefer."

Tissaia was taking a few steps towards the raven-haired woman as she talked, making sure not to loose her gaze and staying in control.

It had been a few minutes since Yennefer had not been able spoke back to the woman standing in front of her. Without realizing it she was now walking backwards slowly, watching Tissaia. Looking at her neck and cheekbones. She wanted to touch her. Kiss her. Taste her lips as they would finally meet.

She wasn't focusing on what she was saying when suddenly her back hit something behind her. She wasn't sure about which type of furniture it was. Probably a table. That's what she thought as her fingers wrapped against the edge of it. Still staring into blue eyes.

She felt her knees weakening when a hand put her hair behind her ear gently but with conviction. Next thing she knew, her eyes shut. She felt a breath on her neck.

"I suppose I could say I got your attention now." Tissaia murmured in her ear.

What took Yennefer out of her trance was a wave of cold caused by the body of Tissaia leaving hers. She opened her eyes and saw Tissaia smiling widely with mischief. She stood still before her, glaring up at her weak figure. Probably happy with herself and the effect she had had on the younger woman.

"Follow me, Yennefer. I'll show you around."

***

Except _that_ , nothing out of the ordinary happened that night. Tissaia had shown her the bedroom in which she was going to sleep during the weekend. It was elegant and simple. Yennefer figured it will do and thanked her host as she stayed in the room and made herself at ease. Still trying to process what had happened earlier in the living room.

Yennefer was observing that she usually played hard-to-get. She wasn't interested in these women who were too soon gone. She started acting like that in a way of protecting herself. She wanted to find _the one_ that wouldn't forsake her. Her abandonment issues being strong.

Of course, no one had intrigued nor troubled her like this woman. Tissaia DeVries. Her brain could try to kill her for giving up her soul to the older woman so easily.

She hoped fervently that she wouldn't see her the next morning.

Lying to herself, she fell asleep.


	10. There's nothing to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been dealing with personal stuff this week. Sorry for the delay. Hopefully next week will be better.

When Yennefer woke up, no one was in the house even if it was somewhat early. She guessed Tissaia had gone to the train station to take Ciri. She tried to remember where the bathroom was, and went inside to take a shower and get dressed. Under the hot running water she thought about last night and the sexual tension between her and Tissaia. It was perfectly natural for a woman in her mid-twenties to want sex, even if the woman in question was her boss, wasn’t it? She was normal, healthy, and it wasn’t as if she went around thinking about sex every damn minute of every damn day. She had other things to worry about.

She had chosen a comfy outfit and started putting it on. Dark jeans, a pair of black Adidas continental 80 and her favorite white sweater.

She easily found her way to the kitchen and started cooking breakfast for three as she figured they would be. Opening every drawer to find the basic culinary utensils she needed, she let herself drift to her domestic behavior.

She found a large bowl then sifted together the flour, baking powder, salt and sugar. She poured in the milk, egg and melted butter. When the mix was smooth she scooped the batter onto the griddle where she had put oil in it earlier.

After a few minutes, the pancakes were done and she busied herself at washing the dishes. "Bon appétit" from Katy Perry was playing in her head on repeat so she began singing it out loud to make the time pass.

The buzzer rang and Yennefer walked to the door hesitantly. She closed her eyes as she thought about last night again. She’d wanted to lose herself, put all her troubles on hold for one lust-filled, debauched night of incredible sex. Her body fully devoted to Tissaia and her desires. Where was the harm in that?  
  
Nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to reproach herself for. 

She shook her head and a few seconds later, the door opened. Light spilled in when the girl and woman came toward her. Tissaia stood in the doorway, dressed in jeans, a green leather jacket and a flannel shirt. Nothing like she used to see on Tissaia, yet it was refreshing and the newly domestic preview of the both of them made Yennefer smile.

The younger woman stepped out of the way, motioning for her to come in, not sure about what to say. Tissaia stopped, bopped her nose, and walked in.

A shudder crept up Yennefer's spine. Her face stuck between a laugh and a grin.

"You look well, Yennefer" She said as she motioned Ciri to follow her inside the house.

"All things considered." Yennefer replied fast. Probably thinking Tissaia was only nice because of Ciri's presence.

"No, you just look good."

"Not sleeping agrees with me." Tissaia shrugged. She knew the young writer was lying because she had heard her snoring when she had walked by her bedroom before leaving the house earlier this morning.

Tissaia wasn't the same when she was around her niece, Yennefer reckoned. She took a look at Ciri who was standing next to her aunt. She looked grim, maybe even angry. Yennefer couldn't tell. Soon after her boss left the room, the child came closer.  
The little girl only saw Yennefer 's lips that were formed into a smile. The raven-haired woman was really gorgeous standing there, the smile lit up her face as she walked towards the girl and bent down over her.  
  
"What's the name of the little princess I have here ?"  
  
"Ciri. You probably already know that." Right. The answer was cold. No wonder why she was Tissaia's niece. It made no doubt. 

Long blonde hair was tied in an untidy knot on the top of her head. -That was probably Tissaia's doing.- Her eyes a light color, blue or green maybe, a small nose and thin lips. She was around four feet four or five and slightly underweight. She had nothing in common with Tissaia -at least not physically.

From across the room came an easygoing voice. "I have time for a cup of your coffee." She paused. "Maybe a couple of those pancakes." Her voice was deep -her chuckle friendly.

Yennefer swung around at the familiar voice and found blue eyes. She was leaning against the door frame with her arms folded and feet crossed at the ankles. She felt a sharp stinging sensation across her chest. 

"Glad to hear it." 

Ciri did her best to look at them as if everything was normal. She hoped Aunt Tissaia hadn’t told Yennefer her story. Forcing herself to act normal, she took a sit.

When Yennefer had everyone settled with food and drinks, she sat down across from her boss. Tissaia gave her a quick look. She was solid looking and there was calm concern she hadn’t noticed before in her blue eyes.

Ciri broke off the silence that had settle between them. "I've heard so much about you, you know ? And yes," She turned to face Tissaia. "She’s beautiful."

Motioning her head back toward the younger woman she said. "When did you get here ? How long will you stay ? Are you two finally together now ?"

Tissaia set her cup of coffee on the table, sniffed and left the room without saying anything. She gave her niece a long, meaningful look and closed the door behind her.

When green eyes zeroed in on her, Yennefer felt her face flush. No doubt about it. She knew what the honest child wanted to talk about. Realizing her tea had turned cold, she stood, went to the stove. It gave her something to do to avoid the questions.

The girl peeked through a crack in the door to the kitchen. Yennefer seemed nervous. She was taller, darker, and younger than her aunt but she had a nice, friendly face. She envied her dark wavy hair.

_"Why did she make me so nervous ?"_ Yennefer asked herself. " _Did Tissaia really talked to her about me ?_ " She had not been given the time to think about an answer when she heard the little girl behind her.

"You’re not going to run out on me like she does, are you?"

"I won’t run." She turned to her. "But I won’t answer your questions either."

"Oh?"

"Don’t look at me like that."

"So you're both pretending you don't have feelings ?"

"There is nothing to say." Her eyes gleamed as her gaze dropped to her own hands trying to avoid eye contact with the child that was so bold in front of her.

Her head flicked to the open kitchen door when she heard them. The usual sound of Tissaia's high heels always had this effect on her, she couldn't hide it even if she had tried. Ciri obviously started laughing and Yennefer had ignored her when she had said "Nothing to say, hm ?" walking toward the hallway where she would find Tissaia.

She had had time to change and was now wearing a dark gray suit underneath a green cashmere coat that fell down her legs to her ankles.

What they shared in their gaze was a sense of mischief, a love of disruption and fun. Yennefer felt like her entire insides were contracting. There was an ache in her belly, and she wanted to take her by her rounded, cashmere-covered shoulders and kiss her. She knew, somehow, that Tissaia’s lips would be firm and sweet, and that instead of feeling faintly revolted, she’d feel happy and content.

A few seconds after she began thinking about it, Yennefer was gripping Tissaia’s upper arms, eyes shut and gasping. Heat flared in her chest as she closed the gap between their lips. Tissaia's body reacted almost instantly. When her mouth touched hers, she all but stole her breath away, and her kiss was exactly like her. Determined. Arrogant. Confident. Hot. And with that first touch she went up like a flame.

A minute after the kiss they shared, Tissia pulled Yennefer off her. Her mouth quirked, sending her annoyance levels up into the atmosphere. What really annoyed Tissaia was that Yennefer had somehow gotten the upper hand.

"I will end you if you don't take care of Ciri properly while I'm gone." She whispered a few inches away from Yennefer's right ear. She watched Tissaia's fingers skimming against hers and her stomach fluttered in response.

The brunette smiled in return, fluttering her lashes as she assured her it wasn't a problem, and then watched her as she moved away.

***

As the day went on, Yennefer pushed the memory of the kiss out of her head, telling herself that maybe she’d imagined it. Ciri disappeared for a while, she probably wanted to be alone. The woman taking care of her had respected her boundaries.

By five in the afternoon, Ciri was asleep on the living-room couch. Yennefer found a blanket and covered her up, putting a kiss on her forehead before sitting at her side with a book she had bring with her. It was when the sunset peeked from behind the clouds a few hours later that the girl woke up.

"I'll make you a cup of hot chocolate. It will warm you. You must be cold."

In minutes she placed the warm cup in Ciri’s hands. "Take a few sips, then tell me about this trouble you keep getting in."

The child took a swallow and let the warmth slide through her. Of course Tissaia had told Yennefer about her behavior... Then, balancing the cup in her lap, she tried something.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Dark eyebrows arched. Yennefer stayed silent, waiting for a proper answer.

"He had been mean to me. Technically, I haven't done anything wrong. I got expelled only because he was on the floor when they arrived. They thought I had kicked him."

Sometimes an impulsive decision can change the course of someone's life. Yennefer was well aware of that statement. Yet, she wasn't ready to give a lesson to the blond child.She thought about what she would have wanted to hear when she was herself a rascal child.

"Did you ?" She asked with a mother's tone.

Ciri blinks. She looked Yennefer up and down, examining her more carefully. Their gazes met, held, and the defensive expression in her eyes showed.

"Maybe. It doesn't matter." She wrinkled her nose.

"Are you sorry ?"

"No." The girl replied sharply as to show her interlocutor that the conversation was already closed. Yennefer did not insist. She didn't want to antagonize Ciri. She looked down at her phone. It was almost seven and she still had to cook. Then she glanced at the partly closed bathroom door and told Ciri to take a shower while she would be making them dinner. 


	11. I shouldn't have done that

It was after midnight as she sat at the window, writing, that Yennefer thought about _her_. She had tried to go back to sleep, but she only tossed and turned. So she left her room and sat at a table, while the child slept in her bedroom. She wrote lines of words, the draft of an article. Changing words with a pencil, she wrote it again and again, scratching at the paper. She thought about it, word after word, reading, scratching, writing again, until the article seemed to come from somewhere deep within her mind. 

Pausing, she looked outside. It was dark. Some stars shined through what seemed like light clouds. 

Once again, her mind drifted to her move. To their kiss. The more her mind played with the memory of it, the more it appeared like it was Yennefer that had kissed Tissaia and the older woman had been polite by kissing her back. Nothing else. 

She was stuck and caught at thinking it had been a bad decision and a poorly attempt at starting _something_ between them two. Who even dared to kiss their crush out of a compulsive move ?

She knew they will have a talk. She just didn't know when yet. As she stopped writing notes for her next article, she was preparing herself for the storm she would get from Tissaia. In order to do so, she wrote down a few sentences on a new piece of paper. Murmuring out loud her messy thoughts.

"Should I be asking her for forgiveness ? No, Yen, no... that's silly. Okay, what about telling her that it was stupid, that _I am,_ and I shouldn't have done that ? Sounds like a good enough excuse. Doesn't it ?"

_"I was an idiot, it’s never a good idea to act the way I did. I am serious, I shouldn't have done that."_ That's what she began writing. Throwing the papers into the trash can when she wasn't happy with how it turned out. She wasn't tender with herself. She deserved every rude sentence she wrote about herself and her behavior. That's what she thought. She had drowned in the spiral of hurting herself with her own words. Believing deeply what they were describing.

When her eyes began shutting on their own she gathered her papers -what was left of them- and walked over to her room. It was too late to sleep and too early to wake up Ciri. So she stared at the ceiling, trying not to fall asleep. Trying to act like a responsible adult, for once, since the weekend had started.

***

"You fell asleep." The voice of Ciri made her jump from the bed. Her eyes were fighting against the sun and loosing miserably. She looked like an old vampire that could be burning if sun had touched her skin for too long. Her head shook in an attempt to appear wide awake and she apologized to Ciri while putting her shoes on. She was in her pyjamas but didn't care. Will of making breakfast and be the adult she was supposed to be was stronger than her own ego and appearance.

"I already ate, you know."

Okay. Right. Everything was a disaster. She was a mess and the child she was supposed to be taking care of was now the one taking care of her. Tissaia would end her. That was it. That was her conclusion. And, to be honest, she had deserved it.

Well, she would take whatever punishment Mrs DeVries would give her. _"NOTHING SEXUAL! For fucks sake, what is wrong with me!"_ Visibly, her thoughts were still not acting responsibly. That day was starting very, very badly.

Ciri's chin came up and her eyes grew serious as she opened her mouth to speak. "I should probably take a shower." Is all Yennefer could think of to avoid dealing with whatever questions Ciri could come up with. At least, for a few minutes, she would be alone.

While water was running down her skin, she thought about what answer she would give to Ciri, anticipating her questions. "What did you do last night ?" was the most probable one, accompanied by "Did you dream about Tissaia ?" She hoped the child was too young to ask such a question but seeing as she was very mature for her age, nothing could surprise her anymore.

She would tell her that she had to write an article for the magazine and that it took her more time than she had expected. That's a good alibi to whatever Ciri could accuse her of. Plus, it was only half a lie. She really had written an article. Except no one asked her to write it and she had spent way more time writing things regarding Tissaia, their kiss, her actions and herself.

Coming out from the shower, her thoughts drifted, once again, to her behavior and how ridiculous she had been. Her mind polluted by bad thoughts she walked up to Ciri who was probably watching Netflix -or anything like that- in the living room. She had picked a cup of black coffee on her way.

"What are you watching ?" She tried with a casual tone.

"What happened last night ?"

"I asked first."

"I asked second."

"Tissaia asked me to write an article."

"You're lying."

"How would you know ?" By the way she said that, Ciri knew she was probably lying. She was on the defensive and the child had already seen that kind of reaction on her aunt when she was lying. She gave her a disapproving look. Almost pouting, then looked at the TV again.

"Why do you think I'm lying ?"

"You're just like her. You know ?"

"I don't understand ?"

"You both act like children when I start talking about you two. But, yes I guess I am the one who need supervision. And, yes, I am the only one who makes stupid choices. You two are nothing like me, right ? That's also what you think ?"

"That's what Tissaia told you ?" Yennefer spoke with honesty in her voice. She tried her very best to let it show in hope to gain Ciri's trust. Yet, she had probably lost it the moment she began lying a bit. She knew she was a bad liar. She couldn't lie to a child, her mother instinct was too strong to be good at it.

"Maybe. Why does it matter to you ?"

"It matters because you matters."

"Anyway. I'm watching something can't you see ?"

Yennefer sat in silence. She looked at the TV trying to understand what was the plot. She guessed it was some Superwoman stuff when she saw a blonde woman fly in a red and blue costume. And now the blonde woman was hugging a brunette and all Yennefer could think of was, yet again, Tissaia. She had to do something to push her out of her mind or she would get insane really fast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. Looks like I'm struggling more than I should with this but thanks for reading! There will be following updates, I just don't know when yet.

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments are very much appreciated ! It's my first time writing a fic so... that's what you get. Hope you like it !
> 
> More to come ?


End file.
